Cheryl "Tweedy." Cheryl "Cole." "Cheryl." We've gone through a lot with this girl group alumna and she's back for more. Cheryl's ready to step back into the spotlight. The last time we saw this goddess in action was with 2012's rather forgettable third album A Million Lights (though "Call My Name" is still spectacular) and 2013's legendary Girls Aloud reunion (#NEVERFORGET). After taking a forced hiatus from the X Factor and watching Nicole Scherzinger take over her place, Cheryl's back with a new season of the Factor coming in August, a fourth album in September, a surprise wedding announcement, and currently a new single that is number 1 on UK iTunes.
Cheryl Fernandez-Versini, Miss Cole if ya nasty, has dropped "Crazy Stupid Love" this past weekend after premiering it earlier in June. Now Cheryl has had a ridiculously good track record with first singles as this, and this, and this clearly demonstrate. But let's make one thing clear, ladies and gents.
This single is pretty shit.
That's the hard truth. First off the single cover makes Cheryl look like her organs are falling out and she needs to keep them up in her gold bustier. Then the music starts and the "LA LA LA LA LA LA LOVE" phrase over a stomping beat gives you such hope for what's coming. But those verses. That chorus. The on trend horn breakdown. It's all very bad demo that anybody with Garageband could produce and any 5th grader with a sax could play. And no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to bring myself to enjoy this song. There are good parts, one of which is that Tinie Tempah swoops in to save the day during his verse and brings together all the positives of the song with ingenious lyrics, #DICKMATISED. Another is that the music video is frankly a classic. Since this is a pretty long post about a not so great song, I'll sum up the video with this gif and leave you to it. Hopefully, we get that Nicola Roberts collab she promised and we can all forget this ever happened.