Thursday, July 24, 2014

Who Should Really Win At the 2014 MTV Video Music Awards?

The VMAs are nearly upon us once again and you know what that means. A competition for the least accredited award in music that is sure to anger and thrill everyone. For some reason, these awards are the prime target for every celebrity's craziness as Kanye West and Miley Cyrus can surely tell you. These infamous moments of television tend to overshadow other amazing performances (NSYNC reunion anyone?) and careers in the US have been launched thanks to the VMAs, i.e. Florence and the Machine.

However, the main problem with the awards is that, though they are allegedly determined by the "fans," the clear winner of each category almost never wins, and with this year, some singers were not even nominated despite brilliant songs and videos. Britney's "Work Bitch" video should be a classic by now and was not even given Best Choreography, and Brit Brit was working bitch! Also, Lady Gaga did not receive a single nomination despite the ARTPOP of singles "Applause" and the opus that was "G.U.Y." Clearly someone was not in their right mind for these nominations, but I'm here to set the record straight and describe what I would like to happen at this year's VMAs to add it to the list of memorable ones.


Charli XCX

Even though this is the pre-show performance, this will easily be my favorite of the night. Having seen most of her performances and gone to her concert (best of 2013), I can only expect that she will sing her massive hit "BOOM CLAP" backed by her all female band but I think Charli may throw us a curveball and play her new song "Break The Rules" so that she can ensure another US hit before her album drops. I have full faith in Ms. XCX so at least the VMAs will start off on a good note.

Fifth Harmony

America is in a sorry state of affairs. Now that Danity Kane has unceremoniously ended for good (#TeamShannon), it looks like the only girl group we got left is Fifth Harmony. Granted they have the sass and personality, but they still haven't made that song that will bring them to Girls Aloud or Saturdays level yet. Unless these girls can somehow get Michelle Obama to make an appearance while they sing "Bo$$," I might just fast forward through this one.

Ariana Grande & Zedd

Ariana has had a great summer, with her Max Martin produced single "Problem" killing the charts with all its whispering realness. Readying her sophomore album has been a priority for Ariana and she has been on a media blitz that has included reviving TRL, performing at the Billboard Music Awards, and quitting her Nickelodeon show Sam & Cat. Now, Ariana is promoting her new single, a collaboration with Zedd called "Break Free." Another hit in the making, this performance really needs an added kick so I think to bring this song to the next level, Ariana should perform as an insect trapped in a web and at the EDM drop, she BREAKS FREE by revealing she has wings and fly into the audience. You heard it here first.


ICONIC. QUEEN B. #FLAWLESS. #SURFBOART. There is literally no way this will be bad. Will she sing "Drunk In Love" and bring her hubby Jay-Z to put an end to all the divorce rumors? Will she sing "Partition" and serenade a new hunk (Comment on who should be worthy) thus ending her marriage? Will she just sit on stage and take a dump while we bask in her glory? In all these cases, this is Beyoncé's awards show and she will surely make it the best of the decade.

Iggy Azalea & Rita Ora

Bottom line: Rita Ora needs to hit this out of the park, because this may be her only chance to break the US. After he tumultuous breakup with Calvin Harris (RIP Oralvin) led to her being unable to perform at the Teen Choice Awards, now is the time for Rita to truly let her inner popstar shine. I'm not a fan of trap music, but "Black Widow" is captivating nonetheless and hopefully, the girls can get in a sword fight and recreate their Kill Bill esque video onstage. Otherwise, Charli can just walk on and sing the chorus of "Fancy" and we'd all be happy.

Jessie J, Ariana Grande, & Nicki Minaj

The ultimately power girl trio: Jessie J's unmatched vocals, Ariana Grande's insane range and image, and Nicki Minaj spitting bars on a whole another level. "Bang Bang" isn't what I would call "revolutionary" but it's catchy and makes you happy. And at the end of the day, isn't that what music is all about? The performance should be a typical diva fest but I'm more excited to see the music video, which will premiere right before the show.

Maroon 5

Not a fan. Song's not that great. I couldn't care less. Moving on. Next.

Nicki Minaj

This is probably the most anticipated moment of the night. Nicki Minaj has once again become the rap-pop legend we all needed in our lives and "Anaconda" is the best guilty pleasure of this year. The one thing that I would NOT like to see is the lap dance with Drake. Please Nicki, anyone else, even Justin Bieber. There's something about Drake's thirst makes me cringe. Just a thought.

Sam Smith

This is sure to be the tear jerker of the night that was meant to bring class to the whole event. It's sure to be breathtaking and Sam Smith can sing the daylights out of anything. I'm guessing just a piano and choir, take me to church type of affair but it will be a nice break before diving back into the crazy pop that's sure to come.

Taylor Swift

I'm gonna say something that may shock a lot of people: LEAVE TAYLOR ALONE! I was a very big Taylor hater until 2012 when "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" proved that Swift could easily take the crown of pop princess. Thank god Taylor stuck with the trend and is now making her first "pop" album (don't be fooled, Red was a pretty good start). Her new single "Shake It Off" is everything you could want and the video is really something special. It should have been a cultural phenomenon that we could all celebrate in happiness, but now it's all a race thing thanks to rappers who haven't even seen the video. Seriously, get over yourself and stop making it anything more than a fun song and it's performance is sure to impress (please bring back the humans dressed as animals Tay Tay). *Plays Shake It Off 3x to calm down*

Usher & Nicki Minaj

Unfortunately, I haven't been a huge fan of this maestro of pop since the "Yeah" days, so I was pretty unimpressed when he was announced as a performer this year. I was even more disappointed when he released his new single, the rather crap song "Good Kisser" which somehow made it into the UK top ten. However, Usher does have an all right new song with Nicki Minaj and Pharrell called "She Came To Give It To You."If he decides to perform the second song, the performance will be pleasant if not boring, so I am kind of hoping he performs "Good Kisser" to see whether he realized the career misstep he had made. Sorry, not sorry.

5 Seconds of Summer

Now this should be the standout performance of the year. The boys of 5 Seconds of Summer have had a meteoric rise to stardom since their garage band days in Australia. Though the appeal clearly lies in the fact that these boys are the new twunks in town since One Direction appear to be in a lull, Ashton, Michael, Caleb, and Luke (my fave) actually have some good tunes and their new album should be the best boy band album of the year. Now for their VMA performance, the boys should certainly sing their hit "Don't Stop" where they reprise their super alter egos but take a turn to the dark side. Then, Taylor Swift can lure One Direction on stage, where the Australians then "simulate" to vanquish them and Taylor will reveal her new relationship with one (or all) of the boys. The perfect balance of shade, revenge, celebrity romance and music. They really should have me plan these things out.

Now for the actual awards. I'm only going to hit the ones that matter and be brief with each but let me know if you have any thought about the awards in the comments!

Video of The Year

  • Iggy Azalea (feat. Charli XCX) - Fancy 
  • Beyoncé (feat. Jay-Z) - Drunk In Love
  • Sia - Chandelier
  • Miley Cyrus - Wrecking Ball
  • Pharrell Williams - Happy
Disregarding Pharrell's inclusion, this is a pretty great list of videos that have been released since last year. From Sia's haunting dancing toddler to Miley giving an STD to a wrecking ball to Beyonce's #SURFBOART, these videos all deserve an award for various reasons. However, for Video of the Year, Iggy Azalea's pop culture referencing and insanely amazing Fancy video definitely deserves to win. Not only does it perfectly recreate an iconic movie, Iggy and Charli make it their own and slay the scene with their sheer perfection. This one is really a no brainer.

CLEAR WINNER: Iggy Azalea (feat. Charli XCX) - Fancy

Best Male Video

  • Eminem (feat. Rihanna) - The Monster
  • John Legend - All Of Me
  • Ed Sheeran (feat. Pharrell Williams) - Sing
  • Sam Smith - Stay With Me
  • Pharrell Williams - Happy
This category is always a tough one, since the females definitely have a better track record with music. I mean, Rihanna is the only reason The Monster video is special. Unfortunately, it looks as though Pharrell and his stupid hat will take this award with all that longest video bullshit. However, this category belongs to Sam Smith. Not only has he been the biggest global male singer since his launch this year, but the Stay With Me video beautifully illustrates Sam's story of love without oversimplification or dramatizing the issue, a rare quality nowadays. 

CLEAR WINNER: Sam Smith - Stay With Me

Best Female Video

  • Iggy Azalea (feat. Charli XCX) - Fancy 
  • Beyoncé - Partition
  • Ariana Grande (feat. Iggy Azalea) - Problem
  • Lorde - Royals
  • Katy Perry (feat. Juicy J) - Dark Horse
Now we're talking!!! The ladies are here to show everyone how a music video should be made. Firstly, Lady Gaga's "Applause" really deserved a nomination here and probably should have won. Not because the others are undeserving, but Lady Gaga really knows how to make a video and Applause was a highlight on her track record. Anyway, each of these videos is amazing but in true reverence to female empowerment, Beyoncé deserves the award here considering Partition is basically what every empowered female has been listening to (don't kill me feminists).

CLEAR WINNER: Beyoncé - Partition

Artist To Watch

  • 5 Seconds Of Summer - She Looks So Perfect
  • Charli XCX - Boom Clap
  • Fifth Harmony - Miss Movin' On
  • Schoolboy Q - Man Of The Year
  • Sam Smith - Stay With Me
This is the big one. America is an extremely tough market to break but this award can really boost sales by introducing an act to the American public, as One Direction & Austin Mahone have seen in the past 2 years. It's all but certain that 5 Seconds Of Summer will take this award and continue the trend of cute boys stealing tween girl's hearts. But let's get one thing clear:


It's no secret that Charli has been one of my favorite popstars of all time since I discovered her back when we were both teenagers. Since then, she has written some of the best songs on the planet as well as 2013's best album. "Fancy" and "I Love It" would be nothing without this girl and "Boom Clap" is Charli's first major mainstream success in the world. If nothing else, this award belongs to Charli XCX and when she rules the world by the end of the year, people will see why.

CLEAR WINNER: Charli XCX - Boom Clap

Best Pop Video

CLEAR WINNER: Iggy Azalea (feat. Charli XCX) - Fancy (even though it's not really pop)

Best Rock Video

CLEAR WINNER: Lorde - Royals (even though it's not really rock)

Best Hip-Hop Video

CLEAR WINNER: Drake (feat. Majid Jordan) - Hold On, We're Going Home (I haven't seen any of these videos so I'm guessing on this one)

MTV Clubland Award

  • Disclosure - Grab Her!
  • DJ Snake and Lil Jon - Turn Down For What
  • Martin Garrix - Animals
  • Calvin Harris - Summer
  • Zedd (feat. Hayley Williams) - Stay The Night
This is a new one this year and the category is a little overdue. Since about 2009, EDM has taken over the mainstream charts and DJs have become amazing popstars in their own right. For the nominees, Martin Garrix and Calvin Harris have the superior songs here but this category should really go to DJ Snake and Lil "YEAAAH" Jon. I mean just look at it!

CLEAR WINNER: DJ Snake and Lil Jon - Turn Down For What

Best Collaboration

  • Beyoncé & Jay-Z - Drunk In Love
  • Chris Brown, Lil Wayne & Tyga - Loyal
  • Eminem & Rihanna - The Monster
  • Ariana Grande & Iggy Azalea - Problem
  • Katy Perry & Juicy J - Dark Horse
  • Pitbull & Kesha - Timber
This category probably has the biggest oversights of the night. First off, Gagastina deserves an award just for this live performance. Secondly, Shakiranna's steamy "Can't Remember To Forget You" video is all forms of amazing and deserves at least this nomination. And finally, the one category "Fancy" was sure to win is the one it didn't get nominated for. I guess Iggy will have to settle with the feature on Ariana's Problem to win this one.

CLEAR WINNER: Ariana Grande & Iggy Azalea (& Big Sean) - Problem

Best Direction

  • Beyoncé - Pretty Hurts
  • Miley Cyrus - Wrecking Ball
  • DJ Snake and Lil Jon - Turn Down For What
  • Eminem (feat. Rihanna) - The Monster
  • OK Go - The Writing's On The Wall
Here we have another category that Lady Gaga should have conquered, especially with her amazing Real Housewives filled video for "G.U.Y." Hopefully ARTPOP Vol. 2 sets the world straight on Mother Monster's domination. Anyway, "Pretty Hurts" edges out the competition here though the admittedly iconic Wrecking Ball comes in a close second. Hopefully Terry Richardson never makes a Beyoncé video because that would just be WEIRD!

NOT SO CLEAR WINNER: Beyoncé - Pretty Hurts

Best Choreography

  • Beyoncé - Partition
  • Jason Derulo (feat. 2 Chainz) - Talk Dirty
  • Michael Jackson & Justin Timberlake - Love Never Felt So Good
  • Kiesza - Hideaway
  • Sia - Chandelier
  • Usher - Good Kisser
Dancing is a dying art form when it comes to music videos. I mean, if you look back on most of the other videos here, choreography doesn't really seem to play the biggest part. Such sad times. However, these videos help give us hope for the future. Firstly, Britney Spears really deserved a mention here with "Work Bitch." As the epitome of a dancing popstar, Britney made choreographed dances a norm during her heyday and Work Bitch was a great reminder of that. Nonetheless, it appears the favorites to win would be Jason's horn-heavy "Talk Dirty" or Sia's mesmerizing "Chandelier." However, the obvious winner comes from a rather obscure popstar that has been on my radar for a while now. Kiesza is a Canadian singer whose debut "Hideaway" has hit number 1 in the UK and is a major player in the whole 90's revival thing going on right now. Not only that, the video is the time of one take joyride of pop dance mayhem that people really don't make anymore. So well done Kiesza and hopefully a win can give you some new American fans!

CLEAR WINNER: Kiesza - Hideaway

The rest of the awards are pretty predictable (though Lana Del Rey deserves special mention as West Coast should win Best Cinematography) so I hope that everyone does well during the awards which will air on August 24th. Don't forget to vote on and leave comments on who you think should take home a Moon Man this year!

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