NSOTP's Best Songs of 2017

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NMF Thoughts from April 28 - featuring Katy Perry, two Toves, and at least 3 Charli XCesque Songs!!!

Katy made Song of the Week!

Who should win at the Grammys? (Sia and Charli, duh)

telegraph.co.uk

The Grammys are just around the corner and can only be described as one of the most prestigious, stressful, and unexpected awards shows ever. Remember when Esperanza Spalding beat Justin Bieber? Yeah, shit goes down. Ahead of this weekend's ceremony, I thought it was my God-given duty to break down what could possibly happen this year and who should win the actual awards (especially considering by next year, we'll be in full Adele mode when she drops 25).

The Performances

1. Madonna

This has been a rough album campaign for Queen Madge. Madonna's latest opus Rebel Heart had a lot of promise to be amazing but it has been plagued by endless leaks, stupid PC Twitter trolls, and Madonna's convoluted responses. Hopefully this performance can get the whole thing back on track because as anyone with ears can tell you, "Living For Love" is absolutely wonderful.

2. Gwen Stefani & Adam Levine

Gwen Stefani's return hasn't been much better than Madonna's (don't even get me started on Fergie). "Baby Don't Lie" was sublime but it certainly wasn't the stomping comeback we were all hoping for. The best thing Stefani has done since she started singing again was this Calvin Harris collab. Unfortunately, it looks like Gwen is teaming up with the most annoying pop band at the moment to sing the Sia-penned blubbathon above. But maybe she'll play a new, ridicumazing song with Adam Levine just playing guitar in the background? Now that would be good.

3. Ariana Grande

An Ariana Grande megamix, a Grandemix if you will, would be just fine with me but it looks like she will be using the Grammys to promote the fourth single from My Everything, "One Last Time." The song is on the better side of the album so I'm already going to give this a 7/10.

4. Katy Perry

After the Super Bowl, which was also only 7/10 compared to Madonna and Beyonce's absolute slayage of the field, Katy Perry might try to bring the slight train wreck of Prism to a prompt end by singing a boring ballad "By The Grace Of God" at the Grammys. Unless the sharks or Missy Elliott make an appearance, I might mute this one and listen to Bonnie Mckee instead.

5. Sia

Now this is what I'm talking about. Sia's album campaign has been spectacular, by being the true Elusive Chanteuse, she has used other performance elements to mesmerize the audience. Her Grammy performance will surely be the highlight of the night and hopefully, will give "Elastic Heart" the push it needs to be as big a hit as "Chandelier"

6. Lady Gaga & Tony Bennett

The only way I'm getting through this jazz album debacle that Lady Gaga is putting me through is by pretending it never happened. My life is a lot happier since I've done it, so you might want to try it out. A new album would be welcome anytime now Stefani G.

7. Rihanna, Kanye, McCartney

This was not what I wanted from Rihanna and I refuse to support this side of her. I barely got around to liking "Diamonds" but this acoustic bullshit is too much. She better have something astronomical up her sleeve because she is slowly losing her status as Holy Priestess of my Illuminati Church.

8. AC/DC

Alert your Mom and Dad!

9. Ed Sheeran & ELO

Alert the Queen!

10. Eric Church

Country and boring.

11. Beck & Chris Martin

Alternative and boring.

12. Sam Smith & Mary J. Blige

Gospel and boring (unless they bring Disclosure out for some deep house action).

13. Beyonce, Common, & John Legend

This will be gospel and not boring. Though Common's involvement is a little weird, Beyoncé and John Legend know how to deliver heartfelt lyrics in a beautiful non-melodramatic way. This will probably be the part where everyone cries a little.

14. Ed Sheeran and some other people

Unless he does "Sing," this will be acoustic and boring.

15. Juanes

Loud and in Spanish. Will they even air this one?

16. Kanye West

It will be a new solo song but will probably be shit. Hopefully he pulls a "Stronger" and make me like him for a week.

17. Pharrell Williams

What is Pharrell even doing now? Does he have a single out? If he does "Happy" one more time...

18. Usher

Sometimes people need to know when to give up on one career and move on...

19. Miranda Lambert

Maybe I'll just stop watching after the Sia performance.

20. Tom Jones and Jessie J

Will Tom Jones take the Ariana part in "Bang Bang"? Maybe they can bring Paul McCartney to come and do Nicki's part? That would be the only way this would be entertaining.

21. Hozier & Annie Lennox

WTF?!

So... it looks like performances will not be the best this year. But what about the awards!?!?

The Awards

I'll just be doing some highlights from the ceremony because I couldn't care less about most of these categories.

Best Music Video

The Clear Winner: "Chandelier" by Sia

One of the most iconic music videos of last year and the only one on the list that will have you wanting to see it again. Hopefully Sia can be the Adele of this year since she probably is the most Grammy worthy artist of 2014.

Best Dance Recording

NSOTP Winner: "Rather Be" by Clean Bandit feat. Jess Glynne

Who will probably win: "Rather Be" by Clean Bandit feat. Jess Glynne

If nothing else, the Grammys should be a time to celebrate innovation and reinvention of music. No other artist has accomplished this as well as Clean Bandit on "Rather Be." Merging classical acoustics with house beats can only be considered ingenious.

Best Pop Solo Performance

NSOTP Winner: "Chandelier" by Sia

Who will probably win: "Stay With Me" by Sam Smith

Since the Adele comparisons early in his career, it looks like Sam Smith will probably clear most of his categories. HOWEVER, I still refuse to consider him a popstar, and certainly not the gay popstar we have all been waiting for. Sia's powerhouse vocal acrobatics deserve this one and I will take on anyone who disagrees.

Best Pop Duo/Group Performance

NSOTP Winner: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea & Charli XCX

Who will probably win: "Dark Horse" by Katy Perry & Juicy J

With Katy's performance at the Super Bowl and the Grammys, it's hard to think the Academy won't want to give her something as a thank you. But you and I both know that "Fancy" deserved this as a sign of female pop power and Charli XCX's first time being recognized as the amazing pop entity she was always destined to be.

Best Pop Vocal Album

NSOTP Winner: Prism by Katy Perry

Who will probably win: My Everything by Ariana Grande

I'm still surprised Taylor Swift wasn't nominated for this, as she clearly had the biggest album of the past year. Nonetheless, Katy Perry's album had a lot to offer sonically despite many of the missteps. If Ariana were to win, I wouldn't be fuming but I'm still expecting something gravity-bending from the third album Ari.

Best New Artist

NSOTP Winner: Iggy Azalea or HAIM

Who will probably win: Sam Smith

Regardless of whatever most of the Twitterverse is saying, I actually enjoy most of Iggy's output. It is mainstream rap but I think we can all agree that some of y'all are getting a little too crazy about an artist trying to pave a career. And with four top 20 hits to her name, it makes sense she would be the biggest new artist of 2014. Nonetheless, the Cali rock trio made up of the HAIM sisters also deserve some recognition considering their debut album was very good indeed.

Song Of The Year

NSOTP Winner: "Chandelier" by Sia

Who will probably win: "All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor

It's safe to say that Meghan Trainor is definitely about that fucking bass. The biggest surprise hit of the year certainly deserves some recognition but I think it is clear that the amount of thought going into Chandelier by songwriter-extroardinaire Sia is leaps and bounds above Meghan's. Chandelier was 2014, a giant swinging mess but everyone got through it with sheer determination and that is why Sia should be applauded.

Album Of The Year

NSOTP Winner: Beyoncé by Beyoncé

Who Will Probably Win: In The Lonely Hour by Sam Smith

Beyoncé's visual album had to be the absolute highlight of 2013. The music may not have been up to my usual tastes but it was a forward-thinking zeitgeist-producing collection of jams whose visuals only immersed you deeper in the song's productions. And I don't see Sam Smith riding no #Surfboarts on his blubbathon of an album, do you?

Record Of The Year

NSOTP Winner: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea & Charli XCX

Who Will Probably Win: "Stay With Me" by Sam Smith

Yeah, I do think "Fancy" was the best record of the year. It established Iggy Azalea as the superstar she is today. It brought Charli XCX to the forefront as the premiere songwriting hit maker of 2014. It ushered in a new trend of not-shit music videos with a lot of retro vibes. It was the biggest song of the summer and of the year. While "Chandelier" and "Shake It Off" were very amazing indeed, they did not make make the world a better place. "Stay With Me" might have made it worse. So, sorry haterz but "Fancy" had better win this one or the 2015 Grammys will have been the worst ceremony in recent history.

Best Songs Of 2013: #50-46

We are about to enter a very special time. The first day of October not only signals the fact that we're close to the end of the year, Christmas, and overall magic, but this magic extends to music as well. Such is the time known as Q4. Here is a quick summary of why Q4 is so amazing and to honor this magnificent time where tastemakers make Best Of Lists, I have decided to put up my Best Of 2013 list for Songs! Unlike my Best Albums of 2013, I will be posting 5 songs in descending order for the next 10 days until October 1st. Hope you enjoy!

50. "Get Lucky" by Daft Punk feat. Pharrell Williams

Daft Punk finally got a major hit after working so hard and this also began Pharrell's takeover at the end of 2013. It may have been higher up on the list if the radio hadn't overplayed it to death. But that guitar riff tho? A+

49. "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke feat. Pharrell & T.I.

Despite the huge amount of anti-feminism and douchebaggerie of this song, Robin Thicke did claim the Summer Song of 2013 with this breezy throwback jam. In all honesty, it was just Pharrell doing all the work again, seeing as how Robin's new album wasn't exactly a success #nojusticeforPaula

48. "Pompeii" by Bastille

For all the basics out there, this song was in fact released last year and immediately put Bastille as my favorite semi-indie band of 2013. "Pompeii" was an excellent debut single that showed innovation and guts really. I mean, a gregorian chant in a pop song? Had to make the top 50.

47. "The Apple" by V V Brown

Now don't run away just yet. V V Brown made an incredible return to pop music thanks to her reinvention as a gritty, dark pop princess of the night. "The Apple" evokes all shades of Grace Jones and needs a couple of listens to truly understand the colossal heights this song builds up to. The French version is also rather spectacular, because as Diana Vickers can attest, everything sounds better in French.

46. "Roar" by Katy Perry

Once again, this song may have been higher on the list if the radio didn't play it to oblivion. Still, it's a classic Katy Perry empowerment anthem that displays just how consistent of a popstar Katy can be. A little Bonnie Mckee didn't hurt either though right? Right.

Blast From The Past: "All Night Long (Touch Me)" by Cathy Dennis

Cathy Dennis has been a treasure in the music industry for a REALLY long time. She casually decided to become a pop superstar in both her native UK as well as the US in the 90's with her unique brand of disco-tinged pop that threw you back to days that, at the time, weren't that far behind us. "All Night Long" really shows what her whole artistry was about and thank god people took notice. Her first album released before I was born in 1991 is a classic and she also became a pop idol in the taste making nation of Japan as well.

Unfortunately, as effortlessly as she came onto the music scene, Cathy decided to screw us over by ending her singing career and shifting her focus to songwriting for other artists. But it wasn't all bad. She had a hand in creating such modern classics as "I Kissed A Girl" by Katy Perry and "Once" by my favorite X Factor contestant Diana Vickers. But let's not stop there everyone. She only bloody went and wrote "Toxic" by BRITNEY FUCKING SPEARS and "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" by QUEEN KYLIE MINOGUE! What do you have on your resume there?! Currently, there are rumors she has worked with Charli XCX for her second album (!!!) and hopefully she can create a new anthem that will be most played on my iPod for a good 5 years. Until then, let's just listen to "All Night Long" and wistfully contemplate a world where Cathy Dennis never stopped singing.

Song of The Day: "American Girl" by Bonnie Mckee

Happy 4th of July! As the first official Song of The Day (I won't do everyday, only when something important comes along), I decided to something holiday-related. Here, we have one of the greatest songs of 2013 and the most patriotic song I can think of.

Bonnie Mckee happens to be one of the greatest songwriters of our time. "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz? That was Bonnie. "How We Do" by Rita Ora? Chalk another one up for Bonnie. Pretty much every popular Katy Perry song? Bonnie was behind those too. So why isn't she a major pop star by now? Well, "American Girl" is her second attempt at a solo career and if this is any indication of what to expect, I cannot wait for her next album.

"I was raised by a television" is an amazing lyric isn't it? God Bless America!