I'm back just as 2016 is over. And as Tove Lo forewarned us in last year's best single, our relationship with this godforsaken year has basically just been a TI-I-I-IMEBOMB. But now that it's done, and we look back at the pop music, it's hard to be cynical when some of the best songs ever have come out.
So, I'm here to pick out the 50 best singles that were released in 2016. All of these are solid 10/10s and a few surprises have come through. So get ready to listen to ALL THE POP HITS (and I'll also be identifying each of their BEST BITS)
The Grammys are just around the corner and can only be described as one of the most prestigious, stressful, and unexpected awards shows ever. Remember when Esperanza Spalding beat Justin Bieber? Yeah, shit goes down. Ahead of this weekend's ceremony, I thought it was my God-given duty to break down what could possibly happen this year and who should win the actual awards (especially considering by next year, we'll be in full Adele mode when she drops 25).
The Performances
1. Madonna
This has been a rough album campaign for Queen Madge. Madonna's latest opus Rebel Heart had a lot of promise to be amazing but it has been plagued by endless leaks, stupid PC Twitter trolls, and Madonna's convoluted responses. Hopefully this performance can get the whole thing back on track because as anyone with ears can tell you, "Living For Love" is absolutely wonderful.
2. Gwen Stefani & Adam Levine
Gwen Stefani's return hasn't been much better than Madonna's (don't even get me started on Fergie). "Baby Don't Lie" was sublime but it certainly wasn't the stomping comeback we were all hoping for. The best thing Stefani has done since she started singing again was this Calvin Harris collab. Unfortunately, it looks like Gwen is teaming up with the most annoying pop band at the moment to sing the Sia-penned blubbathon above. But maybe she'll play a new, ridicumazing song with Adam Levine just playing guitar in the background? Now that would be good.
3. Ariana Grande
An Ariana Grande megamix, a Grandemix if you will, would be just fine with me but it looks like she will be using the Grammys to promote the fourth single from My Everything, "One Last Time." The song is on the better side of the album so I'm already going to give this a 7/10.
4. Katy Perry
After the Super Bowl, which was also only 7/10 compared to Madonna and Beyonce's absolute slayage of the field, Katy Perry might try to bring the slight train wreck of Prism to a prompt end by singing a boring ballad "By The Grace Of God" at the Grammys. Unless the sharks or Missy Elliott make an appearance, I might mute this one and listen to Bonnie Mckee instead.
5. Sia
Now this is what I'm talking about. Sia's album campaign has been spectacular, by being the true Elusive Chanteuse, she has used other performance elements to mesmerize the audience. Her Grammy performance will surely be the highlight of the night and hopefully, will give "Elastic Heart" the push it needs to be as big a hit as "Chandelier"
6. Lady Gaga & Tony Bennett
The only way I'm getting through this jazz album debacle that Lady Gaga is putting me through is by pretending it never happened. My life is a lot happier since I've done it, so you might want to try it out. A new album would be welcome anytime now Stefani G.
7. Rihanna, Kanye, McCartney
This was not what I wanted from Rihanna and I refuse to support this side of her. I barely got around to liking "Diamonds" but this acoustic bullshit is too much. She better have something astronomical up her sleeve because she is slowly losing her status as Holy Priestess of my Illuminati Church.
8. AC/DC
Alert your Mom and Dad!
9. Ed Sheeran & ELO
Alert the Queen!
10. Eric Church
Country and boring.
11. Beck & Chris Martin
Alternative and boring.
12. Sam Smith & Mary J. Blige
Gospel and boring (unless they bring Disclosure out for some deep house action).
13. Beyonce, Common, & John Legend
This will be gospel and not boring. Though Common's involvement is a little weird, Beyoncé and John Legend know how to deliver heartfelt lyrics in a beautiful non-melodramatic way. This will probably be the part where everyone cries a little.
14. Ed Sheeran and some other people
Unless he does "Sing," this will be acoustic and boring.
15. Juanes
Loud and in Spanish. Will they even air this one?
16. Kanye West
It will be a new solo song but will probably be shit. Hopefully he pulls a "Stronger" and make me like him for a week.
17. Pharrell Williams
What is Pharrell even doing now? Does he have a single out? If he does "Happy" one more time...
18. Usher
Sometimes people need to know when to give up on one career and move on...
19. Miranda Lambert
Maybe I'll just stop watching after the Sia performance.
20. Tom Jones and Jessie J
Will Tom Jones take the Ariana part in "Bang Bang"? Maybe they can bring Paul McCartney to come and do Nicki's part? That would be the only way this would be entertaining.
21. Hozier & Annie Lennox
WTF?!
So... it looks like performances will not be the best this year. But what about the awards!?!?
The Awards
I'll just be doing some highlights from the ceremony because I couldn't care less about most of these categories.
Best Music Video
The Clear Winner: "Chandelier" by Sia
One of the most iconic music videos of last year and the only one on the list that will have you wanting to see it again. Hopefully Sia can be the Adele of this year since she probably is the most Grammy worthy artist of 2014.
Best Dance Recording
NSOTP Winner: "Rather Be" by Clean Bandit feat. Jess Glynne
Who will probably win: "Rather Be" by Clean Bandit feat. Jess Glynne
If nothing else, the Grammys should be a time to celebrate innovation and reinvention of music. No other artist has accomplished this as well as Clean Bandit on "Rather Be." Merging classical acoustics with house beats can only be considered ingenious.
Best Pop Solo Performance
NSOTP Winner: "Chandelier" by Sia
Who will probably win: "Stay With Me" by Sam Smith
Since the Adele comparisons early in his career, it looks like Sam Smith will probably clear most of his categories. HOWEVER, I still refuse to consider him a popstar, and certainly not the gay popstar we have all been waiting for. Sia's powerhouse vocal acrobatics deserve this one and I will take on anyone who disagrees.
Best Pop Duo/Group Performance
NSOTP Winner: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea & Charli XCX
Who will probably win: "Dark Horse" by Katy Perry & Juicy J
With Katy's performance at the Super Bowl and the Grammys, it's hard to think the Academy won't want to give her something as a thank you. But you and I both know that "Fancy" deserved this as a sign of female pop power and Charli XCX's first time being recognized as the amazing pop entity she was always destined to be.
Best Pop Vocal Album
NSOTP Winner: Prism by Katy Perry
Who will probably win: My Everything by Ariana Grande
I'm still surprised Taylor Swift wasn't nominated for this, as she clearly had the biggest album of the past year. Nonetheless, Katy Perry's album had a lot to offer sonically despite many of the missteps. If Ariana were to win, I wouldn't be fuming but I'm still expecting something gravity-bending from the third album Ari.
Best New Artist
NSOTP Winner: Iggy Azalea or HAIM
Who will probably win: Sam Smith
Regardless of whatever most of the Twitterverse is saying, I actually enjoy most of Iggy's output. It is mainstream rap but I think we can all agree that some of y'all are getting a little too crazy about an artist trying to pave a career. And with four top 20 hits to her name, it makes sense she would be the biggest new artist of 2014. Nonetheless, the Cali rock trio made up of the HAIM sisters also deserve some recognition considering their debut album was very good indeed.
Song Of The Year
NSOTP Winner: "Chandelier" by Sia
Who will probably win: "All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor
It's safe to say that Meghan Trainor is definitely about that fucking bass. The biggest surprise hit of the year certainly deserves some recognition but I think it is clear that the amount of thought going into Chandelier by songwriter-extroardinaire Sia is leaps and bounds above Meghan's. Chandelier was 2014, a giant swinging mess but everyone got through it with sheer determination and that is why Sia should be applauded.
Album Of The Year
NSOTP Winner: Beyoncé by Beyoncé
Who Will Probably Win: In The Lonely Hour by Sam Smith
Beyoncé's visual album had to be the absolute highlight of 2013. The music may not have been up to my usual tastes but it was a forward-thinking zeitgeist-producing collection of jams whose visuals only immersed you deeper in the song's productions. And I don't see Sam Smith riding no #Surfboarts on his blubbathon of an album, do you?
Record Of The Year
NSOTP Winner: "Fancy" by Iggy Azalea & Charli XCX
Who Will Probably Win: "Stay With Me" by Sam Smith
Yeah, I do think "Fancy" was the best record of the year. It established Iggy Azalea as the superstar she is today. It brought Charli XCX to the forefront as the premiere songwriting hit maker of 2014. It ushered in a new trend of not-shit music videos with a lot of retro vibes. It was the biggest song of the summer and of the year. While "Chandelier" and "Shake It Off" were very amazing indeed, they did not make make the world a better place. "Stay With Me" might have made it worse. So, sorry haterz but "Fancy" had better win this one or the 2015 Grammys will have been the worst ceremony in recent history.
2013 was a great year for music, with a lot of old pop divas coming for their thrones and newish artists finally get their first LP out in the open. We saw Miley's Wrecking Ball and Britney Jean's Work Bitch slaying the charts but both those albums failed to really amount to anything (my opinion alone, don't kill me). So now I've compiled the best albums of 2013 in order of amazingness, and keep following the blog for Track by Track Throwbacks where I go deep into each track with my thoughts!
18. Summer Camp by Summer Camp
Just by their name, you can tell that Summer Camp have your vacation in my mind with their fun and effervescent brand of pop. So roll down your windows and play this album as you're driving along the coast and think about a fun 60's summer adventure.
17. Night Time, My Time by Sky Ferreira
It's takenSky Ferreira a long time to get it together but she finally released her debut album in 2013. Dropping her bubbly electropop persona for a scuzzy pop-rock alternative, the album suprisingly doesn't run dry on pop hooks despite the Kurt Cobain-esque styling. Good job Sky!
16. Woman by Rhye
Rhye came on the scene in 2012 with the excellent "The Fall" and their new album lives up to all the hype. A collection of blissed out cuts that wrap around you like a cashmere sweater made of clouds.
15. Beyonce by Beyonce
Katy Perry's gold truck has nothing on Queen Beyonce's surprise release of last year. While we were all freaking out and trying to comprehend how this was even possible, the music was also pretty good! So all I have left to say is, Bow Down Bitches.
14. Settle by Disclosure
With the 90's house revival in full swing, we can thank Disclosure for getting our inner 90's kid out with their debut album. Though a little repetitive at points, this record sounds scattered and chaotic, in the best way possible.
13. Body Music by Alunageorge
Electro R&B is the new genre we never knew we needed. Thanks to Alunageorge and their first album we can now jam to sum of the weirdest and funkiest music of the 2010's.
12. Trouble by Natalia Kills
Everything about Natalia Kills' return to music was amazing. After ditching the goth Lady Gaga persona, Natalia finally releases music that sounds inexplicably like her: powerful, witty, and epic.
11. The Bones Of What You Believe by CHVRCHES
The year's smartest electropop comes from the Glasgow formed CHVRCHES. An exciting and captivating adventure from beginning to end, this is a strong debut on what is sure to be a long and successful career for the band.
10. Days Are Gone by Haim
The BBC Sound of 2013 winners deliver an excellent record that blends the California rock scene with the best of 80's pop. The Haim sisters are the coolest band in whatever country you're in and would make Fleetwood Mac proud.
9. This Is... Icona Pop by Icona Pop
The baddest bitches of Sweden Icona Pop broke the soundwaves of America in 2013 and their first album stateside is a nonstop stream of shouty bangers. Though the Swedish release has a lot more substance to it, any album with "I Love It" deserves to be in the top 10.
8. The Beat Becomes A Sound by Late Night Alumni
This Kaskade side project returns to the chilled out breezy trance music that made their second album so spectacular. Late Night Alumni's mix of acoustic guitars and dance beats was ahead of its time and the angelic vocal is a great bonus.
7. Skyer by Postiljonen
The most majestic music this year comes from Sweden (obviously) as Postiljonen warms you up with lush production and beautiful electronica. The M83-esque release innocently calls for your attention and is worth every moment of listening.
6. Samson & Delilah by V V Brown
Grace Jones has got some competition as V V Brown reincarnates herself as a dark princess of edgy pop-noir. Making the biggest 180 of 2013, V V manages to pull of one of the year's most avant-garde and exciting releases in recent memory.
5. ARTPOP by Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga may be flailing around a bit with this whole ARTPOP schtick but the album really is pretty great. A typical Lady Gaga album, you've got everything from pop to EDM to hip/hop to Middle Eastern trance music. You can always count on Mother Monster to deliver some of the weirdest and often times brilliant songs in music today.
4. Music To Make Boys Cry by Diana Vickers
The X Factor alumni's sophomore album is a work of art. Thanks to some help from master songwriter Miranda Cooper, Diana Vickers has never sounded so comfortable with each song reflecting the bubbly personality and wide-eyed romanticism that made us fall in love with Vickers to start with.
3. Nocturnes by Little Boots
With a promise to create the music she had always wanted to make, electropop mistress Little Boots returned to us with Nocturnes, a collection of moody night time electronica. The most cohesive album on the list, Boots doesn't mess around with getting us to cry on the dancefloor and many vogue houses would play this record nonstop.
2. Heartthrob by Tegan & Sara
Who knew that these Canadian twins had it in them to create one of the best pop albums of the decade? Certainly not me. One of the first releases of 2013, Tegan & Sara made sure that their debut into electropop would leave a mark and luckily, they achieved that with spectacular results.
1. True Romance by Charli XCX
It's hard to believe that Charli XCX's first album was released over a year ago and she is still releasing new music. After teasing the public with the occasional amazing single and brilliant mixtape, Charli's lovestruck (or love struck down) album is a magical testament to Charli's skill as a songwriter and there is not a single dud track amongst all the dark pop odes to romance.
There you go, the best albums from last year. Overall, I think music was the real winner. Let me know if I missed out on anything and stay tuned for further reviews of each amazing album!
.png/220px-Beyonce_-_Lemonade_(Official_Album_Cover).png)
